Alright, this is getting stupid

After a full day refreshing Twitter every two seconds (while vainly attempting to load Real Cavs Fans), trying to get all the latest information on Amar'e Stoudemire and watching a sorta boring, sorta fun All-Star Game, I was ready to go to bed (what's that? Today was Valentine's Day? I mean, I did something romantic... with my girlfriend. Ya.). But like an idiot, I check Twitter one last time for the latest Amar'e tidbits and I find this from Chad Ford:

For the Suns, the Stoudemire-Hickson trade would be something of a last resort. The Suns have been hoping to land more than just Hickson and financial relief for Stoudemire.

In particular, the Suns are still holding out hope that Philadelphia will come to the table and agree to a deal sending Andre Iguodala and Samuel Dalembert to Phoenix. The Suns have sweetened their offer to the 76ers by including Leandro Barbosa in a package with Stoudemire. Also possible is a three-way trade that would send Hickson and Barbosa (along with Ilgauskas) to Philly, Stoudemire to Cleveland and Iguodala and Dalembert to Phoenix.

Cool, I guess. I mean, I don't really care if it's a two team, three team or twelve team deal; as long as the Cavs are landing Amar'e and only giving up Hickson and Z, I'm down.

But there's more...

Meanwhile, Cleveland remain interested obtaining either Antawn Jamison of the Washington Wizards or Troy Murphy of the Indiana Pacers. According to an official from one of those two teams, the Cavs said on Sunday that a Stoudemire trade was not a done deal and the team was still evaluating its options.

Makes sense, I expect the Cavs to have their fingers in a lot of pots....

Even if the Cavs get Stoudemire, they might attempt do a secondary trade to obtain Jamison or Murphy to fill the need for a 4 who could stretch the floor with his shooting.

Wait, what?

Even if the Cavs get Stoudemire, they might attempt do a secondary trade to obtain Jamison or Murphy to fill the need for a 4 who could stretch the floor with his shooting.

Okay, they'd probably resign Wally Szczerbiak (I'll know how to spell that name for the rest of my life) to something like $16 million and trade him...

Given that the Cavs have concerns about how well Stoudemire and Shaquille O’Neal would fit together, the team would consider moving Shaq if it acquired Amare. For instance, the Cavs could swap O’Neal and their first-round pick to Washington for Jamison and Mike Miller. They could send the same package to Indiana in a deal for Murphy and Mike Dunleavy.

What. The. Fuck.

I can't possibly imagine the Cavs doing this. They have been playing, as Austin Carr would say, fantacular. Hell, a lot of my friends who are casual Cavs fans (non blogger/message boarders/tweeters, you know normal people) don't want them to make a trade at all. Can't really blame 'em, the Cavaliers have won 13 straight, beat the Lakers and Magic twice apiece and stand alone atop the entire league with a 43-11 record.

I mean, I get upgrading to someone like Jamison or Stoudemire. If you have the chance to land an All-Star talent for J.J. Hickson and some expiring contracts, you do it. Yes you're good, but you can always improve and these guys are no brainers (Murphy is different, but it'd be for cap relief and he fills a need).

But trading Shaq? Why do that? The big fella has been playing great and I'm finally getting used to rooting for O'Neal. Hell, I actually have an opinion about the whole Howard/Shaq Superman 'controversy' (never in a million years could I have seen myself caring about one of Shaq's 'feuds'). Plus (and this is kinda key) Shaq is the main reason they now matchup so well with both Orlando and Los Angeles. The Amar'e/Jamison or Amar'e/Murphy combos aren't stopping Dwight Howard or Gasol and Bynum.

And if they traded Shaq, how would they play defense? I'm serious; I know Coach Mike is a defensive guy and the Cavs have that defensive culture and mindset and blah blah blah, but what would those lineups looks like? Williams-Parker-James-Jamison/Murphy-Amare? That's one and a half good defensive players (Parker is kinda slow). Plus, neither Mike Miller or Mike Dunleavy are exactly known for their defense.

But this is stupid, I shouldn't be using any brain cells to ponder these possibilities (Come playoffs, would Z start at the five (we know he can't guard Dwight)? Leon Powe? Would the front court be James-Murphy-Stoudemire or would Varejao start?). You can't completely revamp the best team in the league on the fly, that's insane.

This won't happen. This will not happen. The Cavs aren't going to spend the first half of (possibly LeBron's last) season slowly working in O'Neal (successfully, 43-11!) only to blow it up at the deadline. Scrap the entire season and start over? Dumb.

Not gonna lie, I'm kinda apprehensive about pairing STAT and Shaq together once more, but I think it's worth the risk. What's not worth the risk is trading Shaq because it didn't work in Phoenix. You don't blow up a 43-11 team, you just don't.

Deep down I know this is just stupid speculation and I can't think about it any more. There's no way Danny Ferry is going to trade for both Jamison and Stoudemire. ESPN is making things up. I have to go to bed.

Good day.

(But wouldn't the Wizards or Pacers buy out Shaq? He'd make a stink, wouldn't he? Where would he go? Lakers? Miami? Would he come back here? The Cavs could start Mo, Parker, LBJ, Amar'e and Shaq while having West, Moon, Miller, Jamison and Varejao come off the bench! But there'd still be Z, Boobie, Jawad....)