Monday, February 23, 2009

Interview with a Steroider

With all of the A-Rod bullshit going on, I decided it would be worthwhile to interview someone who's actually admitted to using steroids. This person's name shall remain anonymous (as long as he wants) and I can tell you he is definitely not a professional athlete.

The interview was conducted over Facebook chat, so if it seems like an IM convo, well, it kinda is. I've done some minor editing and cleaned it up, but nothing too crazy.

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Ben: How were you introduced to steroids? Did you go seeking them out or were you approached?

Weightlifting Steroid Man: I was introduced by a guy in my fraternity in college. I can't say I wouldn't have sought them out on my own elsewhere, but that certainly made by search quick and easy. I'd been curious for some time.

Ben: Were you worried about side effects and what not?

WSM: Nah I did a lot of research - part of my intro I guess was I'd been working out with this guy for some time, and he had all kinds of books and magazines and such around. I educated myself pretty well, and he knew his stuff.

Keep in mind I was also 18 or 19, so "worry" wasn't a big part of my mindset about anything.

Ben: Gotcha. WERE there any side effects? Back acne? Shrinkage (did it affect sex?) Did you get in your SUV and chase down kids who egged your house on Halloween?

WSM:Some shrinkage, but keep in mind two things:

1) This is a temporary shrinking of your balls only, not everything.

2) This only happens because you're overloading your body with testosterone, and thus your body shuts down its own production of it.

This is why it's important to cycle on and off, and to ramp up and then back down the dosage during a cycle.

You don't want to screw up your natural body chemistry.

Other than that, I think I got really pissed a couple times, but that was normal and legit stuff.

I can't attribute it to steroids.

Ben: I see. Despite steroids being in the news constantly, I have no idea what really goes into it. How'd you take 'em and what kind? Was this cream/clear type stuff? Anal suppository? Needles? Pills?

WSM: I injected and took pills. Injections will typically be oil-based that stay in your body longer and pills are typically a daily thing.

Ben: Did you know what you were taking or was it just 'steroids'?

WSM: No I knew exactly what I was taking.

This is like ten years ago, but if I remember right it was Sustenon and Dianabol

I was very precise - I didn't want anything too heavy. I only wanted to put on 10 or 15 pounds.

It was also a matter of what we could get.

Ben: Did they work? You get ripped?

WSM: Oh they worked like crazy.

Ben: Heh.

WSM: I was doing to gain muscle not lose fat though - and I was in college and drinking regularly, and didn't know as much about nutrition as I do now.

So I didn't get ripped, but I got way bigger and stronger. I put on probably 25 pounds.

Ben: Were you able to work out more? Or did you just get more from your workouts? A little of both?

WSM: If I knew then what I know now about lifting and nutrition I bet I would've put on 35 and been ripped.

Both - I could work out seemingly forever, every single day, and I would take huge jumps in what I could lift every week.

That's why I laugh at the baseball guys who are like "I don't even know if it did anything" lol

Ben: So it's pretty obvious something is up. There's a noticeable difference.

WSM: If I didn't know I was on drugs I would've asked around to see who was putting them in me.

Ben: HA

WSM: Take your typical dumbbell presses - in week two I jumped from 70lb dumbbells to 90s.

That's not normal - and you feel like PUMPED all the time - you know how you feel all pumped right after you life? You ALWAYS feel like that.

It's awesome I loved it.

Ben: Nice. Any other mood changes or anything? Like if you cycled off did you become depressed?

WSM: Well it was kind of depressing as you come off because no matter what you do you're getting weaker.

But I'm not depressed by nature so I don't know that I got depressed. It's just like "damn the ride is ending" kinda.

Ben: I gotcha. So you couldn't maintain your strength after you stopped? Like, you couldn't do 'em for awhile and then kick it and stay that strong? You'd come back down a bit?

WSM: Well I had researched on how to keep as much of the gains as possible, and I was able to keep quite a bit.

I'd say my net gain was like 12-15 pounds, which is what I wanted in the first place, so I was happy.

But yeah, the strength comes down, the weights come down, the size comes down and that's not the most fun thing.

Ben: Did you stop for a particular reason? Health? Money (also, how expensive was it?) How long did you use 'em for?

WSM: I think I just had done it, and got what I wanted, and that was that. I've always wanted to try it again, simply because I didn't know half of what I know now about lifting and nutrition. Plus, back then I was going out all the time, etc.

The cycle I did was 8 weeks, and it was cheap, cause we got them right from Mexico.

I mean we're talking under $100

Ben: Gotcha. So nothing crazy expensive.

WSM: No not at all - I don't even know what it would cost to do as a "street drug" and frankly would never go about getting them that way. In my research I learned the "fake steroid" industry is quite large and healthy.

They're easy to get in Mexico, and cheap. My friend brought them back in his suitcase lol

Ben: HA

WSM: So the whole thing was quite easy.

Ben: Do you think they should be legal? Doctor regulated/supervised?

WSM: I think doctor supervised they really don't pose much threat. I mean, people use these for legitimate medical reasons - that's why they exist. It's not like the bottle has a skull and crossbones on them.

I mean, nobody should go looking to become a walking chemistry set like pro bodybuilders.

Ben: Heh. Those guys freak me out

WSM:But a very mild cycle for the sake of vanity...what's the big deal?

I'm actively looking for a reason to do it again, because I really would like to see how it would work now that I'm not a college partier.

Ben: Do you think they should allow professional athletes use 'em?

WSM: Sure. They let actresses get boob jobs to be better at what they do.

We're looking at an era in the next 20-50 years where aging is going to basically stop, so there are all kinds of new paradigms we should prepare for.

Ben: What about the outrage from journalists and shit. I love the fact that they're soooo outraged at players like A-rod and Bonds.

Hey, it makes me a better baseball player, everyone is doing it, I'd make millions of dollars and they don't test for it. We're shocked players used?

WSM: Yeah really - I just assumed everyone did. A-Rod especially. Totally has the type-a personality for it.

The idea that these guys are noble and such is hilarious. It's all very romantic and such, but not at all realistic.

Ben: Like, why wouldn't they try to maximize their abilities/earning potential

WSM: Because it's NOT RIGHT

ELL OH ELL

Anything else I can answer on this? The truth is - it's just not that big a deal IMO, it works, and it was fun. I've had no ill effects before during or after.

Ben: I think we're pretty good

WSM: And talking about it makes me want to do it again lol

Ben: I think I covered the bases I wanted to cover. Thanks.

WSM: No problem.

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There ya go, my first blog interview. I should probably note that I don't endorse illegal drugs of any kind and if you blame this interview, blog or myself for you taking steroids and going on a murderous, roid-induced rampage, you're a dumbass.

5 comments:

Brian said...

I wonder who it is he sounds cool.

chris said...

I thought this piece was really good and informative. It didn't change my opinion on them but informative none the less. I would say that this was one of your best pieces of journalism, if not the best. I also liked the fact that you still kept your style and sense of humor while dealing with a more serious of topic.

Ben said...

Heh, thanks Chris.

But as for my best.... I dunno. There was that one time I told NYC to suck my balls (after they lost to the Tribe). That was pretty informative.

Joe said...

i prefer facebook chats between airline company executives and their writer friends.

Anonymous said...

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