Thursday, August 17, 2006

Cleveland Fans are Women

or something. From Bill Simmons column on the best teams in the AL:

10. Cleveland
Not sure what happened with these guys. The Indians would have made a much better roto team.

(Note: Normally I'd have more to say, but I'm tired of Cleveland readers complaining every time I write something even mildly negative about one of their teams, no matter how accurate that assessment might be. Now I'm thinking that Cleveland fans are like women -- if they ask you how they look, just tell them, "You look fine, you look great" or else you're in for 20 minutes of pure hell. So to recap, the Indians look fine, they look great. Let's move on.)


Look, I love Bill Simmons, I really do. I love the fact that there is a national columnist who gives a shit about the NBA. Most guys either A) never write about it or B) actively hate it (lookin at you Peter King). Trust me, I love the guy, I'm just sick of his take on LeBron and the Cavs.

Simmons has been leading the "LeBron is leaving for a bigger market" charge (to be fair, he's not the only one involved). Nevermind that being in a larger market helps lesser players more than great ones (it sure has hurt Kevin Garnett). Nevermind that the 'big market' teams either A) suck, B) have no cap space or C) both (Knicks). He was also unaware of LeBron's work in the community and how LBJ might take classes at Akron.

Cleveland fans are giving him shit because he pulls crap like making a huge deal over LeBron waiting a week to sign his extension. That is stupid. And this past season, while everything pointed toward LeBron re-upping with the Cavs, Simmons was writing horseshit about LeBron wanting to leave. Now he's sick of getting 'complaints' from disgruntled Cleveland fans. You don't say?

Can you blame Cleveland? We've gotten to hear about the poor Cubs fans and Sport Guy's Red Sox brethren. We hear about unlucky Chicago and Boston fans, while the Celtics, Bulls, Bears and Patriots win (sometimes multiple) championships. There are multiple documentaries about the plight of Cubs and Red Sox fans.

What do we get?

Our losses get names and become famous. Hell, our losses get edited into wins to sell sports drinks. Free agents get hurt in practice. Players acquired by trade get hurt warming up. Fuck, if you're even rumored to be coming here you get season ending back surgery.

Look, I don't care if you criticize Cleveland teams. Hell, rip on Victor's throwing arm, Wedge's managing and Eric Snow's offense. Make fun of Z's beard. Talk about how the Browns are relying on a second year third round pick to carry the team at QB. Rip coach Mike Brown for not devising an offense. Make fun of the Tribe's bullpen. Trust me, we may not always like it, but we can undersand, those are legitimate concerns.

But making up rumors about our home grown superstar, the one guy who looks like he could end Cleveland's championship drought, leaving? That might piss a few of us off.

But who knows, maybe he's right. Maybe I'm just a bitch.


Jimbo said...

Dead on BenCox. Especially your references to Boston and ChiTown whom both have multiple championships yet whined forever about one particular team in their town.

Ben said...

that always killed me. So the Red Sox never won, so what?

Larry freaking Bird. End of discussion. If you had Larry Bird, Bill Russell, Bob Cousy and Tom Brady in your town, you're never allowed to complain about a team not winning.

Same thing goes for Michael Jordan and Mike Ditka.

cactus chris said...

on a lesser note, boston had bobby orr, and the bruins once had the longest streak in sports of consecutively making the playoffs from sometime in the early 80's (possibly 79) until the mid-90's, when they started to suck.

Hornless Rhino said...