However, he ends the column with come basebal thoughts, and these are gold:
• Did you notice that Pujols, who's allegedly only 25 -- even though his 25-and-under stats dwarf the 25-and-under stats of pretty much everyone in the history of baseball -- is already going bald? Nobody's questioning this? Even John Cusack and Nic Cage had hair when they were 25.
(Put it this way: If Pujols is 25, and LeBron is 20, and Freddie Adu is 16 ... I'd like to announce that I turned 28 last month.)
• Question: Does Frank Thomas count for Ewing Theory purposes this season? Was he relevant enough to qualify, or was he too washed up? What about Jeff Bagwell, who's only in this playoffs in spirit? Does he count? Was he even good enough? I'm ruling "no" for both, but I'm willing to accept counter-arguments. With that said, what would be stranger than the Red Sox' winning in 2004 without Nomar, followed by the White Sox' winning in 2005 without Thomas?
• But seriously ... have playoff beards ever not been enjoyable? This could and should be the gimmick that saves the WNBA next season.